He walks in and I feel his presence behind me, in me. It tightens my throat and makes my heart sink a little. Pin up girls and old English cover you from your rough fingers to your farmer tanned neck. Your burnt out, dropped out, loved out. I can tell, I can see right through you. Your quiet and pain stands still and silent in your black eyes. Your trying to recover from all this. All this shit you’ve put up with. Your done. All you want is a pillow for your head. An easy ride, no trouble.
Your remind me of a friend of mine. You hang your head and look straight ahead in hopes not to draw attention. You have these secrets you never bother to whisper. You have these stories you never need to share. Nothings a big deal. Nothing can shock you anymore.
I pick up your empty plate and it shakes in my hand. I can feel your black, cold eyes staring at me. not provocative but appealing and shy. I anticipated it, I felt it like ice down my neck before I even turned around. And I proceed to ask myself why I attract people like you? Why theres that magnetic sexual tension between broken and more broken. Your eyes follow me as i clean food laden table tops. So intense i can feel your questions. your thoughts.
why does this happen. i want to disappear, i want you to leave. And you do. You get up and walk out, leaving me with only the lettering on your neck. My heart beats quickly as you leave. I see you look one last time from my peripherals. A tear wells in my eye and i couldn't even tell you why. You bring stagnant memories that i could never even begin to tag. you bring a feeling that wells up inside of me like vomit after too many drinks. quick, sudden, and oblivious.
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